Hello, it's Moonfly

...Relatives, am I right? Once they get the news of someone living in with their partner, it’s an automatic thought that a baby might be on the way next. But for the record I am not a target demographic of the “When are you going to have a child?” question, but rather its worse variant, the magical “You gained lots of weight. Are you pregnant?” Type of query. Filipino, eh? First off, to clear the air, I am not pregnant nor looking ahead to having a child. If I look fat, that’s because we have food at home. We stress on what to eat not because we don’t have any, but rather we have a lot and that makes it quite difficult to decide. Also, my job involves sitting in front of my computer the entire day at my home. Given that I don’t have that much physical effort to work, I also lack exercise (but I promise that I’m working on it already) Don't get me wrong, babies are cute and I would love to have one. Looking at them even just on the internet relieves stress and I would like to take c...

It's two days since this year's Valentine's Day. There's so much love, romance, and fun in the air this week and there's always something feel good about seeing couples, families, friends, and basically everyone celebrating love and spending quality time together. I can also see that it has been a busy week on businesses, especially restaurants, retail gift shops, and community events. Personally, I'm not one to celebrate Valentine's Day with my partner (It's for a good reason, I promise) but my schedule was packed for the day. To be fair, I always have seen it as another day, a sort of we-go-out type of day if we get lucky when I was single. Even if I was on a household where we take valentine's day as family and/or friends, I still don't find it as something I look forward to. I'm not necessarily bitter, I just used to be meh about it. But now that I'm in a relationship, it is still not-that-special, but I can see now why it feels like ...

I have been doing a lot of self-reflection lately, and being the person that I am, I am afraid that even myself doesn't like who’s in that reflection. There are so much incidents that pushed me to more than my limit these past few days, and as much those incidents made me be so uneasy on myself, I tend to do sudden, impulsive, violent, emotional outbursts and become more unsettling to other people as well. From hyperventilating over uncomfortable and overwhelming situations, or hurting myself in public due to unresolved traumas, I admit that those are not cool and doesn't make me look any better. Besides, I understand that I affected and pushed away some people that I value, and they are always valid to feel some way. I've always been someone emotionally unstable and always up for self-destruction. I am far from being "well put-together" as what I may be sometimes perceived. No matter how smart and composed I seem to be, it has always been a problem that is terr...

Of course, venting out your problems and getting advice or help is nice, but what I didn’t like are the unsolicited ones where people would assume that since you opened up to them about something, they are entitled to meddle in it. I just want people to listen. If I would need help, advice or your opinion, I will ask for it. Well, I couldn’t avoid people sharing their reaction or perspective about the situation, but I hate it when it is implied that I am wrong with my ways dealing with my own problem, feel self-righteously superior to think that I’m too weak to deal with my issues and they feel obligated to help me as if I am a weak damsel in distress, and oftentimes being judged for it. I have been trying my best to be an ear for everyone who needs it. I always try to be as available as I could and be someone to talk to. Some people may ask for my input, and some, may just want to be heard for once. But one thing is for sure, I only offer help and advice if they clearly asked for it. ...